Chaz Ebert asked me to interview her for the start of her book tour at Anderson’s Bookshop in Naperville, Illinois. What a great evening it was to listen to Chaz further explain some of the concepts presented in her book. “It’s Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity Through the Qualities of Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness” is a heartfelt, important, and wonderful book for all. The book delves into the power of forgiveness, the impact of empathy, the role of compassion in society, and the significance of kindness. I also believe the book is a ‘Call to Action.’
I began by congratulating Chaz on writing such an important and timely book. I also wanted everyone to know that she was a Naperville resident at one time, and her children went to High School here. It’s fortuitous that Anderson’s Bookshop began her worldwide book tour. I also stated that we are all thrilled that you chose Naperville to launch your book.
In giving everyone a quick background of our history, I began with my first film screening as a film critic in 2007, which was 17 years ago. At that time, I met Chaz and Roger at the Lake Street screening room in Chicago. The small theater seats about 45 people. I also noticed that Roger got up and adjusted the heat. Yes, that was his home away from home. I saw both of them many times after that at film screenings in Chicago and other events.
As I stood in Anderson’s Bookshop, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia. The last time I was here with Chaz was for Roger’s book tour of his memoir, ‘Life Itself,’ in October 2011. It was a special evening, one that I still cherish, especially the interview he graciously agreed to.
In April 2013, Roger announced that his website would continue with himself and Chaz, along with other writers, heading it up. Shortly thereafter, he passed away, saying he was taking a ‘leave of presence.’
You asked me to interview Liv Ullman during the Chicago Film Festival for her film Miss Julie the following year, 2014. She wrote the screenplay and directed Jessica Chastain and Colin Farrell in the movie. It’s been great covering events and interviews for RogerEbert.com over these past 10 years, and I’m truly honored.
Tonight, we are here to discuss your heartfelt and very wise book,
Can you please tell us about the whimsical title and the ‘thoughts behind’ the ‘play on words for the title?
Chaz went through each element, saying that forgiveness is the hardest thing for most people. We discussed people in her book who forgave as a way of healing.
We also talked in length about the concept of ‘simple acts of kindness’ and their impact on society and how small gestures can create a ‘pay it forward’ action. I gave an example of how I try to say something nice to a stranger, engage in conversation, or even strike a smile. It’s fantastic to see a person’s eyes light up by simply acknowledging their presence.
Chaz grew up in a large family of nine siblings, which I can relate to as I’m the oldest of five. She talked about how her parents were so very loving and encouraging; they wanted the best for all of their children.
Roger’s film reviews played a big part in our families’ discussions about movies. As a classroom teacher, I wrote a lesson on critiquing books and had the students discuss their opinions in a Siskel/Ebert style, sporting the thumbs up or thumbs down. Roger also included me in a few of the books he wrote, as I asked him questions and thanked him at times.
Chaz talked about Roger’s belief that movies as an art form could create empathy for people. And why it’s important for us to view films that may be out of our viewing interests. We talked about Danny Boyle’s eye-opening film “Slumdog Millionaire” (2008), showing the atrocities of India in which their small children beg for food and money. Shockingly, some are blinded to create more sympathy for a child. It won ten Academy Awards in 2009, including Best Picture; the lead actor, Dev Patel, is mesmerizing in the film.
I asked Chaz about the extrasensory connection when Roger lost his ability to speak and that even after his death, there has been a connection. It’s an intriguing and private part of their lives. Chaz began to tear up a bit as she recalled that at times, she would be thinking about something she wanted to ask Roger, and before she knew it, he would wheel himself into the room where she was standing.
One of my Garden Club friends told me that after her husband had passed away, she could hear him speaking to her in her brain. He’d give advice or tell her everything was going to be okay. Chaz relays similar experiences in the book and talks about a few to the group.
On a lighter note, I asked Chaz about her love of music and dancing. She recalled a Prince concert and that he had called several people to dance with him to the stage. Later, all the dancers left the stage except Chaz, she just kept dancing and cherishes that memory. I, too, enjoyed Prince’s music and told a short story about why I wear hearing aids; when Prince was singing “I Would Die For You” on stage directly in front of me, yes, I was in the first row, I couldn’t leave even though the music was very loud. My husband Bill got up and walked out of the auditorium. How could I leave when I felt Prince was singing to me?
One of the main facets of the book that astounded me was the extensive research that went into writing the book. Chaz discussed her research team and the importance of fact-based findings. When asked what surprised her the most, she talked about stories of “Forgiveness.” She gave examples of horrific crimes in which the family forgives the criminal, as it frees you and keeps you from being imprisoned by the resentment, pain, and suffering. She has given the example of forgiveness in showing the film “Disturbing the Peace” (2016) at Ebertfest of which I attended the showing in 2018 as it was the first recipient of the Ebert Humanitarian Award. Director Stephen Apkon and co-producer Marcina Hale returned to the festival to discuss how their film has been shown worldwide and embraced by both Israelis and Palestinians.
I spoke about the journaling sections in the book are terrific as well as the exercises to form a plan of action. Chaz appreciated that, as she feels that journaling is a very important tool incorporated into the book. She herself journals and speaks about the benefits.
In closing, I wanted to discuss the main takeaways from the book. Using the elements of FECK Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness not only leads to our own sense of purpose and happiness but also allows us to have a greater impact on others. I think this concept is simply brilliant, and it is something we all can use in our daily lives as practical steps and warm encouragement on how to make the world more humane and connected.
You can join the “It’s Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity Through the Qualities of Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness” newsletter at book signings and event are listed.
Order the book here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Its-Time-to-Give-a-FECK/Chaz-Ebert/9781637632475
Sarah Knight Adamson May 2, 2024